Gordon Ramsay for President

Okay, in using Gordon Ramsay as the crowning example of what America needs right now (honesty, not encouragement), we must be clear on the point that yes, our exposure to this man and his personality and accomplishments is through TV, not real life.  On that note, we should all just fuck off!

I’m really just kidding–let’s look at Hell’s Kitchen as “reality.”  We’ve got a bunch of people who are basically grill (the grille is on the front of your car) cooks at a Denny’s or somewhere like that; they do what they do every day, and they probably do not get fired, most of the time.  They see an opportunity to be head chef at Ramsay’s “new” place, and better still, an opportunity at that special 15 minutes, and they jump.  We are led to believe that these people, contestants, also possess the belief that they are good enough to do this job, heading up a high-dollar restaurant, shoveling the image and expertise of the likes of Gordon Ramsay.  What’s reasonable about any of this?  Answer:  The fact that most of these folks would be hard-pressed to make much more than 10 bucks an hour cooking for people, and rightly so, kind of indicates a lack of “reality.”  (Would we make the bathroom attendant manager for a day?)  They suck, as Ramsay so frequently points out…

Again, the first question is this:  Do these contestants genuinely believe that they are capable of being leaders in an expensive restaurant?  It seems that they do.  They have attitude, and they pronounce their abilities and deserving of leadership on a regular basis; yes, they are directed, but these people are not actors.  They are quite evidently delusional.  It is TV, but most of these people are delusional, and they have no business being in charge of a kitchen at a greasy diner, let alone some place that charges fifty bucks a plate; many of them cannot even behave like adults, let alone professionals who possess any kind of skill, leadership ability, or integrity.  We cannot blame them, however, because they have been offered the chance at fame, TV, and riches…

Here’s the next question:  Why do they fill the show with dipshits who can’t cook any better than the average cook in a state prison?  Would we be bereft of Ramsay’s wit and profanity if the show were populated with competent kitchen workers?  The answer is unfortunately yes.  We don’t waste our time waiting to hear Gordon Ramsay praise or agree with people.  It would not be good TV.

What do we learn from this reality?  Dipshits need to be yelled at.  They need to realize that they do in fact suck at what they do, and that they should not be allowed to call themselves “chefs,” when in fact they are challenged by simple pasta boiling in many cases; mainly, they just don’t care (which is reasonable, given their pay and working conditions).  People need to learn that confidence is not a reasonable starting point; if you don’t know what you’re doing, shut the fuck up for five years or so, and fucking learn how to do something.  Shut it!

Here’s what I wonder:  What do people take from this viewing experience?  Do they blindly think that they are the only ones at work who are good at what they do, when in fact they suck?  Do they think the show is just about a mean man putting down a bunch of perfectly nice people who love what they do?  Do viewers actually reflect and consider learning to do something well, with actual skill?

Newsflash:  These people hate what they do.  They do not have “passion” for making pancakes and grilled chicken and pepperoni pizza.   They pretend confidence because they are frequently rewarded for bluffing.  Shut it!  You got on national TV–know that the moment has come, and it will go…

So, in getting back to Gordon Ramsay, he needs to be president.  The country needs to be told it’s full of dipshits who sit around complaining with unreasonable dreams all day long.  Laying around, drinking soda, rubbing potato chip crumbs into your shirt, and analyzing the options at the McDonald’s drive through (“thru” is not a fucking word) with three bucks in your pocket while you contemplate your “handicap” of 250 too many pounds is not life fucking you.  It’s you fucking yourself, and waiting for god to make you pretty, or put you on TV.  It’s “fucking disgusting,” as Ramsay would say.

Learn something, and figure out why everyone on Master Chef is so much thinner and more attractive, yet immeasurably more talented than the dipshits mentioned above.  You don’t need the picture.

Leave a comment

Filed under Jibber Jabber

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s